Okay,
Getting an exchange student sounded like a really good idea back in April. My Mom was terribly ill when I agreed to have a sixteen year old German girl come and live with us for 6 weeks. I thought she would be a great help around the house and with the baby in exchange for room and board.
Let me introduce you to Long Duck Dong. If you don't know who that is, go to Blockbuster, go to the really old section and rent 'Sixteen Candles.' Watch it. Keep in mind, Dong was at least drunk and funny. Not the case here.
Dong has been here for less than one week. It will be exactly one week tomorrow. It will be a long 5 weeks ahead. Dong is sweet. A nice person I suspect. But Dong is a teenager. I was picturing in my mind a young girl, a farmer, a working girl (okay this was my fantasy… what can I say?)
I am trying to work, raise Scout, keep the house up, keep the dogs sane - because let's face it - the dogs take a total back seat when baby arrives. I didn't believe people when they told me this (what else is new) but it is true. Luna and Levi pace the house like mad. Between trying to be Mom, Businesswoman, Dog Therapist and Dong's Mom away from home, I am toast.
The deal was: Dong would come live with us and help out with the house and the baby while we:
1) Worked
2) Spent time with Mum (as I didn't know what state she would be in at this point in time)
3) Jeez, I don’t know, maybe go out on a date?
So far, Dong has been a lot of work. I got at insta-teenager. If you know me... you know I am scared of teenagers. What was I thinking? Teenagers are like aliens to me. I think they should all be shipped off to an island between the ages 12-25. A sort of reform school, if you will.
Dong is self-absorbed. This is normal for teenagers. But I need someone to help me change explosive diapers while I am answering business calls from potential clients. I need someone to help me cook, water the yard… at this point – just bring me a Starbucks! I was expecting child labor - and I gotPrincess Lea.
These teenagers… they sleep in and loaf around. They look somber one minute and are ecstatic the next. What is the deal?
We are doing our best. We enrolled Dong into Swing Dancing, Soap Making and Lindy Hop classes. We took her to Mt. Evans .
I have her hooked on Starbucks. We made soup together. What is more… soul food than that?
In the first week - we have had to outline our expectations twice. She now has it on paper in an outline form and calendar form.
Neither seems to be sticking - like a bad marketing message… ouch! I guess I suck at my job! Today, Dong told me she doesn’t want children because she could not stand to be a stay-at-home-mom.
She needs more intellectual stimulation than that. If she were to have children the man would have to raise them. Hmm. I feel so good about having her here to help take care of Scout. (Slap).
I am thinking I will start posting stickies all over the house with directives. Do you think this would be too forward?
Does anyone need a Dong?
